Story #42: The Dinosaur Trilogy Chapter Twenty-Seven of Part Two

The Dinosaur Trilogy: Chapter Twenty-Seven of Part Two

Or...The Smitten Beware

     I don’t like wasting my time with silly hooks or fancy wording because I’m selfish,

you see. I don’t like people, so I’m writing this paper about me. Yes, that’s correct. I’m

writing a paper about myself because other subjects bore me to tears. I can’t stand

anyone or anything in this English class. I hate the people, I hate the books, but most

of all, I hate this short story assignment.

     In this English class, the word “hate” is used often by me. Trashing the latest

assignment dreamt up by Mrs. Orman is the only fun I get in this stupid class. Heck,

I’m even going to get to write a paper about how much I hate Mrs. Orman’s

assignments. That’s the only thing keeping me going in this class...

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     “Alright class,” yelled Mrs. Orman on a Friday afternoon. “Today, you’re gonna type

your short story assignment as I watch you struggle and guffaw at your pitifulness.”

Then Mrs. Orman laughed. It was a really scary laugh that only really scary people

have. “Oh yes, this is due first thing on Monday! MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!”

     “Hey, bro,” I whispered to my buddy next to me. “You wanna play Pokémon until the

end of the period?”

     Knowing I would smite him if he didn’t say yes, my buddy said, “Yeah, sure! That

sounds like a great idea!”

     So my buddy and I wasted a class period playing Pokémon.

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     Saturday afternoon arrived and I had just rolled out of bed. I looked at the clock. It

read 3:48 in bright red. I laughed and turned on my Gamecube (It’s retro! Chicks dig

retro!) and played some Madden.

     Right in the middle of one of my games, I thought about school and how Mrs. Orman

had assigned a short story that was due Monday. I chuckled and kept whipping up on

the Patriots.

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     After church on Sunday, I watched the Bears game. During it I thought of Mrs.

Orman and her assignment that was due first thing tomorrow. Once again, I laughed,

and accompanied three of my friends to Candlelight Inn where we ate all the Chicken

George we could stuff our faces with.

     Coming home, I was drifting off to sleep. The Chicken George was getting to me.

When I arrived at home, I bid my friends goodbye and crashed on the couch where I

watched all the highlights of Sunday’s games. That’s when I started examining the

inside of my eyelids.

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     I woke and realized it was three in the morning. I turned off the tv and the lights and

sprinted up the stairs, through the halls, threw open the door to my room, and dove

under the covers into my nice, soft, warm bed. I plugged in my phone, my iPod, and

my laptop because I keep all of those within arms reach of my bed. It was then that I

realized I had procrastinated to the point of no return. I hadn’t even started on the

assignment that we were supposed to do. I shrugged and went to sleep.

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     “Dude, you did NOTHING. You’re gonna be in so much trouble,” my buddy said,

nervously.

     I replied, “Relax. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the motto of the day, alright?”

     We went to third period English and Mrs. Orman asked for my paper first.

     “HEY. Gimmie your paper. Now.”

     “wot.”

     “Give. Me. Your. Paper.”

     “I’m afraid I didn’t do the assignment Mrs. Orman.”

     “Did you attempt it?”

     “No.”

     “I SHALL SMITE THEE. YOU HAVE EARNED YOURSELF A DETENTION.”

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     And this, my friends, is the story I wrote in detention today. I wrote this story to all

the children who never had Mrs. Orman in class. This story is why you always have to

listen to Mrs. Orman. If you don’t, beware. She will find you. And she will smite you.

     The End.