SATIRE: Reasons Parents Are the Best

Reasons Parents are the Best!

I don't know how many other kids feel their parents are the best, but I know mine are. I just love how my parents go through my stuff and move my things around. My personal favorite is when they say that all of the things in there house are theirs, but I bought a lot of the things that I keep in my room. Oh, I mean, their room.
My parents like to hold things that they got for me against me, and it makes me feel so wonderful I could cry! They bought my car, and they like to use it against me, but I have to pay them back before I get to college. If I go out and buy myself some bathroom necessity because my step monster -- I mean, step mother-- won't buy me any because I'm "too expensive," my dad will go, "Oh, looks like you're spending the money on what you want when you should be paying me back ." I cannot believe how happy it makes me. It is honestly why I cannot believe I'm looking into colleges so far away!
My best friend loves her parents about as much as I do. Her parents treat her like she's five and not seventeen. They talk to her like she is stupid, but she has her life all planned out. Her mother took away her car when she moved in with her dad, just so she couldn't have the job that she wanted. Oh, and her grandmother said she wanted to kill my friend for moving out of her mother's house. I'm sure my friend cannot wait for Thanksgiving!
I know that my boyfriend's parents are so nice. I am so happy that my boyfriend has started crying because his dad has yelled at him and made him feel like complete crap. He's called me crying and just sat there crying because that's how great his parents are. My favorite story is how his dad told him that he (the dad) didn't like me and I wasn't "wife material." Oh no. I guess I'm not good enough for him even though I'm the one that he goes to when everything goes wrong.
When I get older, I know that I am going to treat my children just like how my parents treated me. They are the reason for my lack of self esteem from sixth grade up until junior year in high school, and I cannot thank them enough for telling me that I looked like a clown and making me cry on a near daily basis. It's really helped me grow as a person. It helped me realize that, just because they're supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, it doesn't mean they will be. And, if they are, their going to make you feel like complete crap and not let you be yourself.