SATIRE: Driving

Driving Satire

So I wanted to tell you a thing. Driving is a privilege not a right. That being said let's write a paper with bundles of sarcasm.

You know what I like more than anything? It's getting up every morning and getting in a cheap car that barely gets from A to B and driving for about 15 minutes. It's so great I've decided to do it 5 out of the 7 days a week.

Another personal favorite about driving is being extremely cautious. You never know when someone will come flying of a turn or start drifting in your lane, and just being able to be on the same road as these amazing people make my days better. I mean, why not text and drive? Its multi tasking and everyone else seems to do it just fine with only a few hundred deaths a year from text related crashes. I'd say those are some pretty good odds. While I'm at it, I think I should forget about every stop sign and blow through them, "No cop. No Stop" am I right? But I can't just blow through the stop signs unless I'm going at least 80 mph. So I might as well maintain that speed for the whole duration of my trip.

It honestly just amazes me on how one person can know so little about the rules of the road, even after taking a mandatory class on it. To me that person, whoever you are, is a role model. You had to have tried a lot hard to ignore everything in such an easy class. That shows commitment.

I think over all we should all take a step back from learning the rules of the road and just take life, not by 10 and 2, but by 7 and 5. So grab you phones, do your make up, and throw that rule book out the window. Happy motor vehicle homicide everyone!