SATIRE: Hats

Hats


“Ms. Teacher lady! His hat is distracting me from doing my work!”

Why are hats considered a distraction? I seriously want an answer! So I was in school one day doing my work and being a good little kid with a stocking cap on! It was christmas at the time so I thought that I should wear a festive hat! It was red and white with the white puff ball on the top of it. It had santa and his reindeer stitched into it, all the way around the hat. All of a sudden I hear this girl who’s wearing no hat yell,

“Teacher! TEACHER!”

“What is it dear?”

“His hat is distracting me fro….”

Now hold up! My hat is distracting you? How could my hat be so distracting that you had to get the whole class's attention?! You must not be a very focused person. You should be more focused on your work than my hat!

“What’s that hanging out of your hat?”

“Oh it's just my 15 inch machete blade!”

Now why would anyone even attempt to hide something in there hat. It can easily fall out and it’s very noticeable. One day I was putting on my clothing for school when I decided to wear a hat and put a huge machete in it to hide it! So I got on the bus and all the kids were looking at me weird. I was looked at by questioning eyes, and worried looks. When the bus stopped to let us off, all the kids rushed off quicker than lightning! I walked pass the bus driver and he gave me a scurried look. I continued off the bus and into the school where I went to my first class. The first thing I here is some little girl screaming.

“Your head is bleeding! It's dripping off your chin! Get away from me!” Then the teacher saw it and was screaming too!

“Everyone run for your lives!” A split second later, the room was barren. I was picked up by some of the S.W.A.T members and sent to a life time detention room where I could do nothing but think. Remember kids, Hats are so distracting that you won't ever get your work done and they are very good at hiding things! So wear a hat and keep wearing it!