SATIRE: Kids Should Work Through High School

Kids Should Work Through High School

Why should kids work all throughout high school? Because it’s good for em! That’s what your grandparents would say, right? Well, they aren’t totally wrong. Working throughout high school creates an amazing sense of responsibility. What?! responsibility?! I know that’s a big and scary word for you kitties in high school to understand, but responsibility is a good thing to have when you get thrown into this thing called the real world. Where you aren’t protected by mommy and daddy and you don’t just get sent to the principal's office when you say something stupid. You have to learn to be able to show up for a shift and to be nice to people that you’re imagining punching in the face for 8 hours a day. But hey, it’s money, right? Aha, another subject that you young’ins think doesn’t pertain to you. Mom gives you five dollars a week for cleaning your room, so you think you shouldn’t get a job because that’s all the money you need, right? HA, wrong. When you have a house payment and a car payment and electric bill and water bills, you can't depend on the five dollars that was thrown at you when you were 10. And those of you who thinks it's okay to live in mom and dad's basement forever, think again. They don't want you there, and after awhile, you don't want to be there. Try bringing a lady back to mom and dad's house at 2 am. See where that gets you. (Not what you want, if you know what I mean). And my very last point, you get get to learn skills that enable you to hold a job (for that real world stuff we were talking about). You have to learn how to obey. Which I know is difficult for you little butt nuggets that think being a rebel is funny. You aren't gonna think it's that hilarious when your boss fires you for thinking it's okay to tell her that you don't want to clean the bathrooms today. And now you're out of a paycheck.

Okay, so let's recap. Be responsible, and don't think that you can't get away with not coming to work because the new Star Wars movie comes out today and you want to go. And secondly, learn to save some money. That way you can eventually be able to afford a bacon cheeseburger at McDonald's without having to ask mom for change. And finally, learn to be obedient. Seriously, if your boss tells you to stand outside in an elf costume for three hours, just do it. It's less embarrassing than telling people you live in mom and dad's basement, right?