SATIRE: Hypocrites

Hypocrites

       Hypocrites are so much fun to deal with! They are so smart when the completely back track on what they said. Like how we were talking about racist jokes and how they aren't that good and then the people who say them the most chime in and say they're so terrible. I applaud your thought process of how you hate them but make them all the time. You're so smart!
Or the awesome people who say that they hate drama so much and never want to be a part of it, but are the people who start it the most. Because obviously drama sucks so why would you be in it so often? That'd just be stupid.
Then we also have the people who hate two-faced people, but then turn around and talk crap about their "best friend". I mean, what other way is there to keep a relationship with somebody? Lie and tell all of their secrets behind their backs? Obviously that's the way! Not truth and keeping secrets, of course not. That would be an idiotic thing to do, that will never keep a friend.
Oh, you hate how somebody laughs/sneezes loudly? But it's okay when you do it? Well of course! Everybody obviously only cares about your opinion and what you want. Nobody else can sneeze loudly but you can, I mean, what else would we do? Yell at everybody who has loud sneezes or loud laughs? Of course not, we'll yell at everybody but you. That's the only logical thing to do.
Hypocrites are so much fun all of the time. They just make everybody happy, and are so much fun to hang around! Who wouldn't want to hang out with people who are exactly what they complain about? I know I want to be around them all the time!